Dream of a life time......

I wanted to let everyone know that the prayers have been answered. A week ago Love Without Boundaries called me to tell me that I was chosen with three other woman to head to China on a Special Education Mission trip. I will be using my Occupational Therapy skills to teach teachers and school staff at an orphanage plus 6 other sites coming to the orphanage to learn new skills to use with the wonderful beautiful children of China. As far as I know I will be going with three other Special Education teachers on this trip. I am amazed how God amazes me over and over and over again. I had always dreamed of going on an OT mission trip but felt it would probably be rehab type training. I NEVER thought it would be the ability and chance to use my special education back ground. I am forever shocked by God's plans in my life. I do feel a wonder if I have the skills they are needing but I trust God's call. God is my confidence for this trip and every area of my life.

It has been a very hard year financially but I would do it again and again if God calls. We are now getting our income tax return in and a month ago found a savings account we forgot about. We have been paying off the bills and sticking to our plans. It feels so nice. When the large income tax refund for the adoption comes in then we will be better than we have been since Sierra was adopted. We are going to start saving and diminishing our debt. I pray that everything remains as planned because it truly the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. Oh it will be a heavy lift off Mike's shoulders too but I am the one who manages it and sometimes it was as if I was attempting to find water in a dried up well. But God kept proving His strength when you are doing His call....I just needed to remain in that Faith until the entire amount comes in...

The girls continue to be dong wonderful. They just love hanging with each other. Today Sierra remained home from school due to some bowl issues. Savannah came home after school to give her a piece of candy that she received from school. What love they have for each other!!!

Well I pray that whoever reads this also is having dreams coming true and the weight of the world......whatever it is......lifted off their shoulders. I pray that whatever life hardship you are plowing through that you remain in God's strength to bring you to the other side. The side where you feel your desires come to light...Blessings!!

After yesterdays rough day, I met with my sisters friends at a local coffee shop as we do every week. We sit together talking, helping and guiding each other through this life of difficulties. Well, yesterday God reach toward me as I sat down to begin our night together.......I heard this song...yes this song......Over the Rainbow going on in the background. I was like no way!! Wow!! Love you God!! You see I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in God reaching to us and us allowing ourselves to feel, hear and allow His touch to absorb our soul. Last night.....just a couple of seconds between talking together I heard it!! I heard God saying....."I have not left. I know it is hard but you are where I want you to be. The rainbow you are searching for is not getting the bills paid......it is not on giving the girls new clothes...it is not in you feeling like a good parent because things look right in my life.....The rainbow is Me." Living in His mercy and hearing His call and doing whatever it is to follow Him......which includes for me right now walking in an uncomfortable place in life to show others what it means to have faith. To believe in Him and that He will bring it all together for His glory. Savannah and Sierra are our daughters and we have been blessed with their connection to each other and how much they love each other. In the adoption world, that kind of connection is not always the outcome of an older adoption. So if our challenges are financial then I will let God help us with that and remain in His glory of the girls and his perfection because..........we actually are in view of His rainbow daily!!!

Adoption debt.....where oh where is our rainbow???

I am so having a difficult time today!! I should say for the last few months........As you read my emotions please know that it is not about either of my daughers. It is not about would I choose it any other way......It is not about well you could of just not done it. It is about the fact my daughters were born in China. It is about God calling me out of my comfort zone. It is about living in the hell part of life to have the rainbow, joy and peace of life. Am I in those states right now....well........right now I know there is a rainbow out there and I know it will come for peace and joy to our finances but not right now.....I am pulling my hair out. Not actually but I feel I cannot get up to the top of the mountain. Oh Mike and I make great money but when I am sending out 1000.00 a month into adoption loans and a son just starting college.......well lets put it this way...I am being choked. Billy is paying for his college but because I was signed up for automatic withdraw from my checking account.......which I was not aware of..........I know I know I should of known. I paid the payment with a check and then they also withdrawn the amount out of my account. Maybe you might think I am whining.....but try to carry the load that Mike and I have carried this last year and you would understand. I am not angry.....just fearful and sadden. I feel I brought Savannah home and she still has to wait to live as a "typical" family lives. She has to ask.....do we have the money for that? She even said I did not want to tell you that my clothes did not fit because I did not know if you had the money mommy. How is that a life? I mean seriously!! I see other adoptive families living in such a wonderful big brick homes taking Disney Vacations just after their adoptions, adopting two kids together and still not struggling. I know....our life is our life but maybe.....maybe the girls would of been better of in a family that was better financially. Yes, I have tears falling down my cheek as I write this because I love my girls and would give them the world..........but I cannot even buy them new pants........we are buying them from the second hand store. I want them to be able to have the life their friends were given when they were adopted. Not a life that a child who has lost so much and given up so much already have to live. When does it ever end..........well ok...I know when that answer is....when we get our income tax refund and my husbands retirement money comes in. It is not fair that my daughters have to wait!!!! I am just so sick of this. I mean Mike has worked since he was 15. He works very hard too. If he is every laid off he gets a part time job to sublement the loss which is legal. I have worked off and on during the time my older two boys were growing up, then went to college and have work for the last 13 years. We had faith and reach out to God's call.............why does His call have to be so hard?? Why does he continue to make children wait when they have waited so long already.........WHY??

Peter looking for a family..

This morning I woke up to this little boy on my Facebook page and my heart melted. I am wanting to post this information on our blog to help him find his family. I truly wish it could be us but with Mike saying we are done and our financial situation I just don't think it will be do able BUT I know there is someone out there that would love to be his family. Please pray with me for them to find him. Please pray with me that whatever God has planned it will inlcude for Peter to find his forever family.........a huge wish that he is wishing for. Do you remember when you were young and you wished for a bike, or a computer game, or a special treat after dinner? This boy has a real valid gift that most of us take advantage of.......a Family! It breaks my heart for him. Please watch his video below and please take time to pray for him and for a family to see how special he really is!!!

Good tmes.....

Well it has been 9 months since we came home with Savannah. I will she is an amazing little girl. I won't deny that with an older child adoption that is hard. With languange barriers, emotional needs, adjustng to a new world her and us...there are challenges. Would do it again........YOU BETCHA!!!

But we just are tapped out and we don't feel we could give the child the best home he/she would deserve. Savannah says......More kids!! Sierra says...No more kids.......and I want to be the baby she always reminds Mike and I. I love her honesty. My heart is so filled for adoption that I am going to help get the word out. I am also looking at helping others already on the international adoption journey with financing by having fund raisers and sending money when we have it. I just think it is important to always give back because gave us so much! It amazes me that there are so many people out there with the love of Christ in them to give to the forgotten children. As far as we are concerned and I think for many parents who adopt, it is actually in our heart from our conception. I believe God had a plan for us and for our children no matter how them became apart of this family........either in a delivery room or in a Civil Affairs office in China. You see I have had people ask me....."What do you think would happen to these girls if you had not adopted them?" My answer is "Well that was not suppose to be. That was never in God's plan." There is a lot of faith when it comes to taking the steps into adoption and one reason I want to give back. I remember thinking...how are we going to pay for this...for both our girls. I remember believing....If is God's will and I have the strength to go through whatever God asks then I will be. It was never easy...NEVER!! I lost two friends during our journey to Sierra. Oh they are my friends now but during her process they actually thought we were crazy and had many opinions that they stated behind our backs about it. Just before we left and after we came home they came up and apologized and realize that Sierra was always ours. You see......I think we even taught others the meaning behind faith.

With Savannah we had a family deviation. Mike and I were very fearful of losing and breaking up our family. I knew God was asking me to move forward but I will tell you I was so scared!! Now that person just adores their sister so much!! And Savannah adores that person too!! Another time God was teaching faith to everyone involved!!

Savannah has had one surgery since she has been home and her other one is scheduled for the end of March. We are all excited because that is when she will receive her new smile. We love her smile now. It just needs so touching up to be even and she DESERVES that!!

We are looking into traveling to MN in April to spend some time with Brandon after Savannah surgery. We are planning on going to the Mall of America and also what I call the Goodwill of America...yes it is AWESOME. I will take pictures and post them so you can all see what I am talking about. We are hoping to volunteer at Brandon's school during lunch and then get some mom needed time with my son...:)

It continues to be good times in the Wanless household with struggles, mountains and burdens to carry but.........still good times with God being the center!!

Rust vs love

This face is the face of love.....it is the reason we are OK about being broke most of the time....it is the reason we decided that materialistic items are less important....it is the reason we have relearn to celebrate holidays.......it is the reason we buy many of our items at second hand store.......it is the reason I proudly have a car with rust on it as you can tell by the pictures below.

You see just recently I got an email from a friend about a man with a brand new car that he cherished but one day a child threw a rock through his side window......when he got out of his car he began yelling at the kid.......the little boy with tears in his eyes he told him about how his brother who was in a wheelchair had accidentally flipped his wheelchair and he could not lift his brother and needed help and knew this was the only way he would get someones attention to help him. The man was so moved he never fixed the dent it left in his side door because it reminded him of that moment that changed him..........the moment that made him realize that love was more important than any materialistic item you can buy.....even those from a thrift store. You see I am a very proud person.........and to have a car with the rust has been bugging me. We bought this car two years ago in hopes to adopt a special little girl and boy through foster care. That was not God's plan but I did not know that. I gave up my GMC Envoy to make this decision for the better of a child........for love of a child. You see until that email I kept thinking I just wish I could have a car with no rust......it is embarrassing to me........yep proud....sadly proud. But now I am driving it around with the correct way to be proud......proud that it is there because it reminds me how much I love my daughter.......how I gave things up for Christ for His glory.........so yes I have rust on my vehicle but more importantly..........I would remain in this vehicle for the importance of any of my children. So if you are like me, and you were touched by God by the wonderfulness of adoption but you are struggling after you come back on your trip to pay bills or you are maxed out and unable to get a new vehicle.........smile because you are letting the world know.........God is calling you to do something for him that might not be what society would follow but it is your calling from Him.........remember Christ hands were "damaged" after his crucifixion BUT would we have it any other way........or more importantly...........He would NOT have it any other way!!

Savannah's second surgery planned and...

We went and visited Dr. Elwood today and found out that Savannah's second surgery is scheduled for March 28th........three days before Easter Break......perfect and give her time to heal so hopefully she can have Easter food this time since she missed Christmas food.......well we actually made an alternate meal and everyone loved it......Taco Soup!!

Also wanted to update everyone on the mittens/gloves......we collect over 200 pairs of gloves to send to Savannah's orphanage!! We are so thankful for everyone who donated. We know that the children at Wuhan CWI will be so appreciative of them!!

Sierra is now going to Dr. Elwood and he feels that she will not need anymore surgeries until maybe if she feels she needs them when she gets older. He also does not feel that she will need a spacer. He does feel we need to visit Dr. DeGise for orthodontic work but surgeries at this point for her is not in the near future!!! She is so happy!!