Savannah.....I want to say we are blessed! A year ago is when we were introducing the idea of adopting Savannah to our family. It was very scary for each of us due to the disruption of prior adoption attempts. There was concern if Savannah would be prepared to be adopted. Concern with how are we going to fiance this? What if she is combative with Sierra.? How are we going to protect Sierra from any harm? Many of the concerns was with the unknown and fear. God has amazed me more than I can believe! I believe and have faith but I have to admit I questioned many times along the way. Not of my ability to love another child, or if I want to be her mother....no I questioned was this really what God wanted.
Watching my daughter when we first met her was amazing. She glowed and she is such a happy girl. Then the last two months have been so grace filled. I have been told that I have such high faith but the truth is I get any strength I have from God. I am not preaching that but admitting that I struggle. I am a person with anxiety and that means I run on fear. I worry way too much and adding adoption especially international adoption to that just boils up to freaking out. But with God at my side I believed his direction and his calling for our family. I believe that God brought sadness and so much pain over the last few years to have our hearts open to Savannah. She has taught us endurance, happiness and peace.
Adoption is not everyone's calling. For our family, three times it has been. My husband amazes me to show me how it is to love someone who is not biologically your own. Mike showed this to me 25 years ago when I first met him. He taught me what unconditional love meant. He taught me that someone might not be of his blood but can be of his soul. I swear that Brandon is more like Mike than his two biological sons. Some say it is because of environment but I know it is also because God had a plan for Brandon and knew his Dad would be Mike. I remember praying for Brandon that God would bring him a person who would love him as his own. Not to be a father but a male figure that would be a role model. I did not realize that through my prayers for my son that I would receive a person who would also effect my life in so many ways. When Mike and I dated we introduced Mike as Mike not Dad. We never expect Brandon to call Mike dad. Then around 4 months into dating Brandon woke up calling Mike Dad. When Mike came over that day, I said hummmmm....we need to talk. I told him how Brandon kept pointing at his picture calling him Daddy. I asked him if it was OK and Mike was thrilled. I have to admit...I was not. I was Brandon's only full time parent at the time and as my kids could testify I am very possessive.....yes even to this day. Well, I knew for Brandon it was wonderful and so we grew as a family from there. Those days taught me that family is not about blood. It is about a group of people who love, support, survive, help, pray, celebrate the good and cry together through the bad together. I remember asking Mike as we were in process to adopt Sierra....do you think you can love someone that is not biologically yours....and he looked and me and said duh...with a smile. Then I have to say while in China this time I also had another of these moments when we were out and about and the people attempt to talk to Sierra. I thought are they crazy she does not know Chinese. See I look at Sierra and see my daughter and since in our house we speak English I see her as a person not nationality. Then it hit me oh yeah she is Chinese. Don't get me wrong I don't forget that because we celebrate Chinese festivals and we have Chinese art up and around our home but it is easy to forget because we have built our family not on blood but love and it has become so strong and so tight that all we see in each other is a brother or a sister or a mom or a dad. I am so thankful for this journey God has allowed our family to be on. I am so thankful that God has trusted us as family to be built not on blood but from love.
Just beautiful!
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